Monday, August 25, 2014

That’s why I never joined any Taekwondo classes

     When I reached home today, I saw my cousin getting ready for Taekwondo classes. Looking at his bright white dress, I dived into memories which were almost faded and came back to me abruptly. That incident was special because that’s when I decided not to learn Taekwondo.
     Want to know the reasons????? then scroll down and read below.            
       While I was young I had seen other kids dressed up in remarkable ways with different colours of belt, on the back side of it written  ‘Taekwondo’ in bold letters.  They used to practice in an open area. I was very much fascinated by them. One day when I saw one of my classmates dressed in that white suit, my determination grew stronger out of envy. I reached home in the evening and asked my mother for it. Mother denied saying “I don’t have a single paisa, only I know how I manage household expenses with this meager money”. When I kept insisting she told me helplessly ‘Ask your father’.
         When father came home drunk,  I went to him and said  ‘papa I want Rs 200 to submit my  Taekwondo fee.   He answered amusingly ‘beta, I will make you learn it, just get kicked by me and you will learn it’. Had it been occurred to my siblings it would be amusing to me but when it happened to me I didn’t find it funny, not at all, not at least to me.  I knew my attempts would be futile but still I tried them.  I even went to bed without having my dinner but all in vain. 
       My desire for it was suppressed deep down within me. One day a classmate of mine told me that his brother teaches this form of martial art and charges just Rs.30. I knew I could manage it somehow,  atleast for a month. My friend told me to come to his home after school. I had been to his home twice so there wasn't any problem finding it. he lived in a  slum-like colony but slightly better than that, atleast they had pucca houses. He took me to the roof, where another of my classmate (his best friend) and his brother was waiting for me. His brother asked us to stretch our legs.  One of them  stretched his legs and the younger brother was standing still and watching us. I tried but couldn't stretch my legs as far as he was capable of.  His brother and other friend came to me to hold my legs. My one foot was in the other friends’ hands and another was on elder brothers’ hands and both pulled my legs to opposite directions. I cried in pain and pleaded them to stop but they went on for two minutes and those two minutes felt like two hours. Tears were rolling down through my eyes. When they were done, I felt like to get up and punch them in their face but the thought of repercussion of that made me stop.  I got up and pretended like I was fine though my legs were hurting, somehow my expression failed me and showed them I was in pain. This made them amused.
         The class was over  and his brother instructed me to come tomorrow at the same time. I nodded. While returning home, thinking of the incident gave me shudder and angered me. I felt betrayed though it wasn’t betrayal actually. That day I decided not to join any Taekwondo classes.  
    Oh Come on !!!! You don't have to feel sad, I am laughing out loud here...... :D 

Thanks for the Advice

 One thing which is closely associated with Indians is their habit of giving stupid suggestions and advice though not always stupid, most of the time which are unsought too.  Nonetheless, we sometimes go to our friends to get some advice on something or other.  In my lifetime I have also had asked my friends for some advice many times, despite of the fact that the matters on which I have had sought advice they were no better than me.  I have also given many advices to my friends.  Following up on those advices have lend us all in embarrassments.  Let’s see how:

When I acted on my friend’s advice 

  Some 15 years ago when I was still in primary school, one thing common with me and two of my friends was our peculiar routine; we used to run fast without stopping until we were ahead of everyone of our school mates.  In just a matter of 20 minutes  we would reach our homes which usually took 40 minutes for others. One of them was fastest among us who also was the skinniest one .  When I asked about the reason of his being the fastest one, “I don’t eat Jalebis with Milk” came the reply. I was stupid enough to believe.

                Once, following on our daily routine, after we bade goodbye to the fastest one as he had the closest destination, two of us were on our way home when I felt cramping in my stomach. I told my friend about it.  We chose the less crowded way to get back home.  I shouted “please do something” and he was trying hard to control his laughter. I was aware of the fact that I was seeking advice from a friend who poops thrice a week in his pants, I have heard her scolding him many times while washing his shit-smeared pants but that time it didn’t come to my mind besides I had no other choice. I was really tensed giving frequently changing expressions trying hard to hold it He advices me to jump high and lift my legs high one by one and when I followed his advice it aggravated the situation further then I felt a sharp pain and shouted   SHIT!!!! and like the obedient pupil it came oozing out in my pants.  I felt relieved but embarrassed too.  The prospect of being sighted in this situation by someone known made me feel like crying. I ran to my home and the poop got rolled down my pants. I lived in the uppermost floor of four storey building and in ground floor one of our relative lived. They saw me coming and before they could say anything I started crying out loud saying “I’ve pooped my pants”. What happened thereafter I don’t remember but the embarrassment I can’t forget. 

When My friend acted on my advice

           This incident is the recent one when I visited my friend he had this severe itching in the part under his leg and around that area. I suggested him to go to a doctor before it gets worse. He asked what should I say to doctor about where the itching is. I told him to say that itching is in ‘vaginal parts’. At first he laughed but later I convinced him by giving the example that like the pocket on men’s shirt is called breast-pocket likewise the area is called ‘Vaginal part’. He was convinced and the next day he visited a lady doctor along with his mother.  When he told about the itching in vaginal part the doctor got angry and scolded “Are you a girl? Don’t you know vagina is only found in women”? And he couldn’t say anything apart from giving an embarrassed smile. When he met me the next day and narrated the incident I laughed my heart out.

     Next time you have to seek advice of your friends think over it before acting on it J